Moms and Grandmas

Ever since I had the idea to start a blog, I have known that I wanted to write about my grandparents.  I am grateful that I grew up in close proximity to all of my grandparents, and with the exception of my grandpa who died before I was born, could see and visit them regularly.  I loved them all so much, and now that I am older, I recognize that their influence provided an added measure of stability, security, and love that I wish I could thank them for today.  My grandmas, and mom, influenced me so much, and I love them and appreciate all they taught me! 

This is a talk that I gave in sacrament meeting on Mother’s Day several years ago.  I used Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s General Conference address from April, 1997, “Because She is a Mother,” for quotes, scriptures, and inspiration.

In 2 Timothy, the Apostle Paul speaks to Timothy about the faith that Timothy has learned because of the good examples of his mother and his grandmother.  Paul says:

 

“When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother, Lois, and thy mother, Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also.  And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is Christ Jesus.”

I, too, had good, faithful examples from my mother and grandmothers while I was growing up.  I am excited to share with you on this Mother’s Day some of their advice and some of the things that I learned from their examples.

MOM:  My mom showed me how to be a good mother.  She has a very positive, balanced attitude and lives her testimony every day.  She loves the Savior and is an example of charity and service.

One of my mom’s best pieces of advice to me is this:  “Anything that is over is a success.”  She first taught me this when I was in high school.  When I was a senior, I was in charge of the National Honor Society induction ceremony.  It ended up being a disaster, even though I had tried my best to make things work.  I remember hiding in the girls’ bathroom after it was over because I was so upset and embarrassed.  When I finally drove home, my mom was working in the kitchen, and I told her what happened.  She said, “Well, it’s over, and you lived through it, so think of it this way:  anything that is over is a success.”  That was exactly what I needed to hear that night!  Many times since then, when things do not go as planned, in spite of my best efforts, I try to remember that advice, and move on with my life instead of dwelling on negative experiences.

GRANDMA MILRHEA:  My Grandma Milrhea showed me how to be happy even through heartbreaking circumstances.  She had a hard life, but through the adversity, she learned to smile, to love, and to share happiness with her friends, family, and neighbors. My grandma suffered many losses in her life.  She was married three times, each husband passing away.  Her first child, my Uncle Jack, was born with a heart defect that was, by today’s standards, probably correctible.  But back then, she watched as he slowly declined in health, and died when he was only four.  Some of his last words to her before he died were, “Mom, can you come with me?”  She said that during the springtime after Uncle Jack died, she watered her garden with her tears.  Even though she had these things happen in her life, I always remember her smiling and happy.  She had learned to overcome the sadness and adversity that she sometimes felt.

My Grandma Milrhea loved this Gospel, and lived it, too.  I still feel that even though she has been gone for over 15 years, she knows where I am and what I’m doing, which goes to show that a mother’s love, as well as a grandmother’s love, never ends.

GRANDMA MELVINA:  My Grandma Melvina and my grandpa lived next door to me while I was growing up.  They lived just through the garden, and I knew that I could go to their home anytime, and I didn't even need to knock on the door.  Grandma was very reserved, and quite shy.  But she was also one of the most artistic and creatively talented women I have ever known.  She could sew anything, and even made her own patterns.  She had a beautiful vegetable and flower garden.  My grandma never wasted anything, and was a master at living providently.  She could make something beautiful and useful from whatever she had on hand, whether it was furniture from an old, wooden fruit crate and a sheet, or a stuffed animal that she lovingly made from the lining of a worn-out coat.

 

My grandma, as well as my grandpa, taught me about the power of prayer.  Because we lived next door, we had Family Home Evening together with my grandparents every Monday night.  I remember both of my grandparents testifying to me that Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers.  After hearing my grandma share her testimony of prayer one night during Family Home Evening, I decided to ask Heavenly Father for help with something I was worried about, and test what my grandparents had said.  I was 10 years old, and I needed Heavenly Father’s help, so I went to a private place on our farm, knelt down, and started to pray.  During my prayer, I felt the Holy Ghost so strongly!  I felt a burning feeling, and happiness and peace.  I knew that everything would be all right, and it was.  Ever since then, I have KNOWN for myself that Heavenly Father does hear and answer prayers.

At times my grandmother felt inadequate, even though she was so talented.  Since I became a mother, I have to confess that I understand those feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, or even downright fear about my parenting skills.  I want desperately to receive that same healing comfort that conquers my anxieties and infirmities that the woman in the Bible received when she reached out and touched the hem of the Savior’s garment in faith to be healed.  In his April, 1997, General Conference address, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland speaks to all women who sometimes feel inadequate.  He promises us, like the Savior promised the woman who touched the hem of His garment, “Daughter be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.”  Elder Holland counsels us to

“Rely on (the Savior).  Rely on Him heavily.  Rely on Him forever.  Claim the promises of the Savior of the world.  Ask for the healing balm of the Atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children.  Know that in faith things will be made right in spite of you, or more correctly, because of you. You have every right to receive encouragement and to know in the end your children will call your name blessed, just like those generations of foremothers before you who hoped your same hopes and felt your same fears.  No one has failed who keeps trying and keeps praying.”

I love Elder Holland’s comforting words!  I am so grateful for the advice and examples of my good grandmothers and mother. I always try to remember the words of my mom, that as long as I have tried my best, “Anything that is over is a success.”